"Borderline Personality Disorder is the monstrous, metastatic malignancy of psychiatry."
I am a mother to my 3 year old son and the girlfriend of a wonderful guy I have no idea what I did to deserve. I have a lot of friends and have no problems making new ones at any point in time. I am smart and do well in school and at work. I have what most people consider to be a great personality and I always have a smile on my face.
On the outside, it looks like I have the perfect life and many more reasons to be happy than to be sad, much less depressed. No one would ever guess the traumatic events I have endured. No one would think that deep down I am struggling to stay above the waves of depression and anger that threaten to drown me at any moment. No one would think that I would be one to struggle with serious mental illness. My entire life is a struggle. It is a struggle to even get out of bed on some days. I use my smile to hide the pain.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
I will be keeping a blog, more like a story, of my day to day life, recollections of my past, various writings, and also poetry. I am hoping to not only help myself make sense of the chaos I hold inside, but also to help those who are reading this who may be going through the same thing. This is not easy to write and will probably not be easy to read, either. At times it will be heartbreaking and others extremely graphic, but these are my thoughts and this is my life.
There are times I feel completely hopeless, but I know one day I will beat this disease. One day I will be able to pick up all the pieces and I will get through my journey to recovery.
And this begins my story...
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